Trinity 3/Ordinary Time 9

I’ve been feeling plaintive of late. As if my life is one of utter pathos.

Beginning to hate myself again. I have a feeling my demon has come back to taunt me again. And it’s brought back friends. For most of today, I have been living as if I have been watching my life from a distance.

If I could capture the pathetic nature that exists inside of me, I could possibly make a parfum out of it. And then this cold, deathly stench that is present around me at times could be worn year round.

The best part is that the weather currently is conducive to such thoughts and feelings. I wonder if I’ll wake up in the morning. If I do, will this glumness bathe me in its frigid waters so that I may swim around this vast, dark and deep ocean?

Lord, forsake me not in my depths of despair… let me smile at the schadenfreude of my life.

bf 2343hrs


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